http://www.thanksdrinking.com/youngman Thu, 18 Sep 2008 06:45:08 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en The vagina that is America’s youth is gaping. Soon, it will be wide enough to fist.                         When I was a small child, there were two television shows I watched religiously. The first was a little series known as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The mere mention of these shelled ... http://www.thanksdrinking.com/youngman/2008/09/07/childrens-programming-continues-to-makechildren/ As anyone who’s frequented this space knows, if there is one fundamental belief that I live by, it’s that Tyler Perry is not funny. The fact that his terrible show House of Payne has recently been teamed with fellow waste of human resources, Bill Engvall, is a crime against humanity ... http://www.thanksdrinking.com/youngman/2008/06/19/the-day-the-laughter-died/ The vagina that is America’s youth is gaping. Soon, it will be wide enough to fist.                         When I was a small child, there were two television shows I watched religiously. The first was a little series known as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The mere mention of these shelled ... http://www.thanksdrinking.com/youngman/2008/06/16/childrens-programming-createschildren/ (The religion tournament has been temporarily discontinued since Allah visited me in a dream last night and told me that a great tragedy would befall my people if I didn’t cease immediately. Nothing on a 9/11 scale, of course, but maybe something along the lines of crashing a Harley through ... http://www.thanksdrinking.com/youngman/2008/05/26/do-ex-girlfriends-ruin-good-music-not-bloody-likely/ Due to the sheer size of this tournament, the first round has to be broken up into two sections. The following matches will be posted next week. Ah, yes. It’s time to settle what thousands of years of wars and blood soaked disputes couldn’t, right here on Thanksdrinking. We’re going to ... http://www.thanksdrinking.com/youngman/2008/05/17/religion-rumble-part-one/ That's right, kids, fire up those office pools and start xeroxing brackets again - it's time for another tournament. Those who have been reading since the beginning know how its works from Drunk Madness. This time, we're settling the age old dispute over what is the one true and right ... http://www.thanksdrinking.com/youngman/2008/05/02/religion-the-tournament/ Right now, chances are that somewhere on your block, a young man is propositioning the classy lady that he cherishes and respects if he can do her in the butt. She more than likely will hem and haw, maybe come up with a weak excuse, maybe say no out right, ... http://www.thanksdrinking.com/youngman/2008/04/28/point-counterpoint-anal-sex/ If there was a Family Feud category, “Most depressing expressions in the English language”, it would probably look something like this:             1 – “We need to talk”/ “I need to tell you something” – 68             2 – “I saw your ex the other day…I think he/she lost some weight” – ... http://www.thanksdrinking.com/youngman/2008/04/18/the-legend-of-the-larva/ As many people have pointed out, I am somewhat a mysterious person, a mischief making shapeshifter of sorts. Who is Dominic Rosegarden? Is this column really all you do? How did you cover up that rash? I decided this would be the week where I would answer all your frequently ... http://www.thanksdrinking.com/youngman/2008/04/11/everything-you-wanted-to-know-about-dominic-rosegarden/ It happens every weekend. Usually it starts around noon on Friday. Your buddy sends you an email with the subject line “Tonight?!?!?” The body of said email is so predictable that you could just recycle the Mad Lib below every weekend:             “Yo _____________                         Name  How ____________ slow is the clock moving? ... http://www.thanksdrinking.com/youngman/2008/04/07/how-to-drop-a-nuke-on-the-wildlife-preserve/