Why the fuck cant they just cut off the ends of a loaf of bread before they sell it to you

WHAT THE FUCK EVERYONE HATES THE ENDS OF THE BREAD

AHHHHHHH

I HATE Bread Ends

dear blog

it is currently 10:17 pm on friday and here I am, commuting home from work. YUCK

I never know what to say in these blog posts.

Lets talk about the train

has anyone ever ridden the train?

let me tell you about it.

The train is a wonderful place where you get to sit in a confined space for long periods of time with complete strangers.  However, the strangers are the best part.  

You see, the train is inhabited mostly by suits who have had every bit of joy stoelenaway from their lives by corprate america and the constant daily battle through the train.

Next time you board the train wait for it to fill up with people. This is when the magic happens. Being the Americans we are (and don’t any of you deny this) we like to take up all the space we can. Every single one of us.  So of course no one wants to sit directly next to another person. (Hey! we might touch!) My favorite part is getting on the train real early during rush hour and see what people are goign to be assholes and try to keep a whole three seater to themselves, OR what douche bags are going to board a train in which everonye else is standing, and force people to move over enabling them to sit.  Gosh its so fun.

I wish dogs could ride the train

I miss amber

Train Ride

Dear Blog,

I’m sorry I have neglected you over the past few days.  I’m really thinking that American’s should get a special period of time just to blog and read blogs.  You know, like a siesta for blogs.  We could call it Blogesta.  I duno, just a thought.  It would probably make the world happier.

Today I am a very happy young man.  You see, for the last 3 days My iPod, JEFFRY

Jeffry the iPod

was missing.  I can’t even describe the worrying.  I mean besides the fact that all of your music is missing, some hip hop fag could have jacked it and contaminated it with their “music”.  GOSH. anyways, hes back, were partying and its a good time

what is else

I’ve been listening to New Found Glory all morning.  Sometimes they are my favorite band and make me want to run home right now and start writing songs.  Rumor has it they have a new album coming out Feb 17th  entitled Not Without A Fight Produced by Mark Hoppus .

oh ps can someone tell me who to vote for? its getting tricky

siesta time, gg

-Matthew McSmartypants

For thoes of you who don’t watch the news or anythign, a few weeks ago Travis Barker, a hero to all kids like me, nay the world, was in a terrible plane crash.  The days preceding the crash were high in termoil and confusion.  

However, Travis showed us all once again how much a superhero he really is, and with his surgery count passing 7, he is recovring increadibly fast.  He now is blogging and lettign the world know.  Please read it all here.

All best wishes goto the familys of thoes lost in the crash and can be remberd with a Tshirt by travis’s clothing company

travis in plane crash

memorial tshirt

(its a song)

a lot of people were mad about his debate regulating abilities tonight.

to them, I say Fuck You

Tom Brokaw is my best friend!

Me & Tom Brokaw... were best friends

mexican day

Amber and I wish you a happy Mexican day

Don’t eat your fucking vegetables

Ever.

I have a deli man.

His name is Jimmy and he is my best friend.

He owns the deli closet in location to my house, and everyday I go to see him and he tells me stories about living in South Korea fighting off the Italians during the Korea Italian war of 1969.  Before I leave we usually watch a round of Jeopardy as he makes me lunch.  I thank him very much and bow to show him respect.  He is very wise